Tag Archives: long

Your Cat Died Joke

A man who lived at home with his mother and pet cat went on a trip to Europe. Before he left he told his best friend to tell him of any emergencies.

A few days into his trip, his cat slipped while climbing the roof, fell off and died. His friend immediately texts him with the message: “Your cat died!”

In a few hours he was back home, having cut short his trip in grief. When he saw his friend he yelled at him, “Why didn’t you break the news to me slowly? You know how close I was to my cat! You could have sent a message ‘Your cat climbed up on the roof today’, and the next day you could’ve written, ‘Your cat fell off the roof’ and let me down gradually that he died.”

After a quick memorial service, the man left again to continue his trip. A few days later he gets a text from his friend. It read, “Your mother climbed up on the roof today.”

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Posted in Animal Jokes, Cat Jokes, Mom Jokes | Tagged | Comments

The True Mother-in-law Joke

Two ladies ran into the court of King Solomon.

“My daughter is to marry this man, but this lady claims that her daughter is already engaged to get married to him!” one of them yelled.

The king stroked his beard and sat in deep thought. Finally the King spoke. “The man shall be cut in two and each of your daughters shall have him.”

“Very well!” said the first lady.

“No, don’t, I would rather let the other girl marry him than have him cut in two!” exclaimed the second lady.

The King pronounced. “The first lady is the true mother-in-law.”

“What?” objected the other. “She wanted him cut in two!”

“Indeed.” said the king. “She is a mother-in-law!”

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How To Stop Thumb Sucking Joke

Johnny sucked his thumb all the time, and his mother had tried everything to try to make him stop.

She was talking with a friend who she said she used to have the same problem with her daughter.

“What did you do?” Johnny’s mother asked.

Her friend replied, “I told her that if she didn’t stop, a large pimple would grow in her stomach.”

Johnny’s mothers tried it the next day with Johnny.

While telling it to her son, his eyes widened, and he immediately stopped sucking, just like that.

A week later, Johnny and his mother were on a bus trying to find a seat. They made their way to the back of the bus, where a “very” pregnant lady sat.

Johnny took one look at the lady and blurted out, “I know what you’ve been doing!”

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Posted in Children Jokes | Tagged | Comments