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Category Archives: Mother-In-Law Jokes
A cannibal was constantly disagreeing with his mother-in-law. One day he had enough and ate her. That night he woke up with a terrible stomach ache. Seems she still disagreed with him.
A grandmother is at the toy store for hours trying to find the perfect gift for her grandson for his Birthday.
She wanders the store for hours, finally she walks to the cash register with her find, a Super Deluxe Megaphone, a megaphone with a voice-changer and flashing lights which allows kids to yell in 10 different voices.
She says to the cashier, “This is the perfect birthday gift, my grandson will love it and it will drive my Daughter-in-law crazy. She’ll hate it!”
Q. What would you do if you knew the world was going to end in 2 weeks?
A. Go visit my mother-in-laws for 2 weeks.
Q. Why your mother-in-laws home?
A. They would be the longest 2 weeks in my life!
Man to Vet: Doctor, I need you to cut the tail off my dog.
Vet: Why would you ask me to such a terrible thing?
Man to Vet: My mother in law is coming to visit tomorrow and I want her to know she’s not welcome. If she see’s the dog wagging it’s tail she may decide to stay longer.
Last night the local Peeping Tom knocked on my mother-in-laws’ door, and asked her to shut her blinds.
A big game hunter went on a safari with his wife and mother-in-law.
One evening, his wife awoke to find her mother gone. She woke up her husband and the two of them prepared to go outside and search for her mother. The hunter picked up his gun, and they were ready to go.
Not far from the camp, they came upon a frightening sight: the mother-in-law was pinned against thick, impassable bush, while a huge lion growling menacingly just inches from her face.
The wife yelled in fear, “What are we going to do?”
“Don’t worry about it dear,” said the husband. “The lion can take care of himself”
Joe meets his friend Frank on the street. Joe says, “Hi Frank, where are you coming from? ”
Frank says, “The cemetery. We just buried my Mother-In-Law.”
“I’m sorry, that’s terrible” says Joe. “What happened to your face, you’re all scratched up?”
“She put up a hell of a fight.” Frank answered.
Two friends were talking. One says to the other, “My Mother-In-Law, she’s an angel.” His friend replies, “You’re lucky. Mine’s alive.”
Q: Why do they bury mothers-in-law 18 feet down, when everyone else is buried 6 feet down?
A: Because, deep down, they really are very nice people.
Two ladies ran into the court of King Solomon.
“My daughter is to marry this man, but this lady claims that her daughter is already engaged to get married to him!” one of them yelled.
The king stroked his beard and sat in deep thought. Finally the King spoke. “The man shall be cut in two and each of your daughters shall have him.”
“Very well!” said the first lady.
“No, don’t, I would rather let the other girl marry him than have him cut in two!” exclaimed the second lady.
The King pronounced. “The first lady is the true mother-in-law.”
“What?” objected the other. “She wanted him cut in two!”
“Indeed.” said the king. “She is a mother-in-law!”