Jokes
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Category Archives: Dog Jokes
No Pets Allowed Joke
When Tom and Charles were on their daily walk, the passed a restaurant and decided to get something to eat.
“Tom!” exclaimed Charles. “We can’t go in, Can’t you see the sign ‘NO PETS ALLOWED’.” Oh, I see it,” replied Tom. “That don’t matter.”
He pulls his sunglasses and walks up to the door, but before he could take another step, the doorman stopped him and said, “I’m sorry sir, no pets allowed in this restaurant.” “Look Mr.,” Tom replied “I’m blind, this is my seeing-eye dog!” “Since when is a German Shepard a seeing-eye dog?” he responded. “It’s the latest kind of seeing-eye dog, how could you not know?!” Tom shouted.
Seeing Toms success, Charles tried walking in with his Poodle. Before he even said a word, the doorman stopped him, “don’t tell me that a Poodle is the latest type of seeing-eye dog!” Thinking as fast as he could, Charles quickly answered back in an upset voice.
“You mean to tell me that they gave me a Poodle?”
Funny Why I Didn’t Do My Homework Excuse
Mother In Law Visiting Joke
Talking Greyhound Dog Joke
Three race horses are taking in a stable.
One of them starts to boast, “In the last 20 races, I’ve won 13 of them!”
The second says, “Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 18!!”
“That’s pretty good” says the third one “but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 27!” and he flicks his tail.
Looking around, they notice that a greyhound dog has sat there quietly listening. “I don’t mean to boast,” says the greyhound, “but in my last 90 races, I’ve won 88 of them!”
The horses are amazed. “Wow!” says one, after a hushed silence. “A talking dog.”