Category Archives: Jokes For The Animal Lover

No Pets Allowed Joke

When Tom and Charles were on their daily walk, the passed a restaurant and decided to get something to eat.

“Tom!” exclaimed Charles. “We can’t go in, Can’t you see the sign ‘NO PETS ALLOWED’.” Oh, I see it,” replied Tom. “That don’t matter.”

He pulls his sunglasses and walks up to the door, but before he could take another step, the doorman stopped him and said, “I’m sorry sir, no pets allowed in this restaurant.” “Look Mr.,” Tom replied ¬†“I’m blind, this is my seeing-eye dog!” “Since when is a ¬†German Shepard a seeing-eye dog?” he responded. “It’s the latest kind of seeing-eye dog, how could you not know?!” Tom shouted.

Seeing Toms success, Charles tried walking in with his Poodle. Before he even said a word, the doorman stopped him, “don’t tell me that a Poodle is the latest type of seeing-eye dog!” Thinking as fast as he could, Charles quickly answered back in an upset voice.

“You mean to tell me that they gave me a Poodle?”

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Rating: 4.5/5 (21 votes cast)
Posted in Animal Jokes, Dog Jokes | Comments

Fish Joke, Corny Joke For Kids

Q. Why are fish so bad at basketball?

A. There’s something about getting close to the net that freaks them out.

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Rating: 3.5/5 (50 votes cast)
Posted in Animal Jokes, Corny Jokes, Sports | Comments

Bird Joke, Corny Joke For Kids

Q. What did the mother bird say to little bird when he didn’t talk nicely?

A. Stop using fowl language.

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Rating: 3.2/5 (26 votes cast)
Posted in Animal Jokes, Laffy Taffy Jokes | Comments

Corny Dog Joke For Kids

Q. Why don’t Dalmatians like to take baths?

A. They don’t want to be spotless.

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Rating: 3.9/5 (37 votes cast)
Posted in Dog Jokes, Laffy Taffy Jokes | Comments

Funny Why I Didn’t Do My Homework Excuse

Kid to Teacher:

Well I was watching my dog so he wouldn’t eat my homework….but then my hamster went and shredded it for his nest.

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Rating: 4.0/5 (22 votes cast)
Posted in Dog Jokes, Jokes About Kids, Teacher Jokes | Tagged , | Comments

Talking Parrot And Magician Joke

A magician is hired for a gig on a cruise ship. Everytime he tries a magic trick the captain’s parrot ruins the trick by telling the crowd how he is doing it. There is nothing he can do because the parrot belongs to the captain.

A few days later the ship sinks. The magician is floating on a piece of wood alone expect for the parrot. They float for days without talking, no food or water, eyeing each other coldly. Finally the parrot gives in, “OK, I give up. How did you make the ship disappear?”

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Rating: 4.9/5 (16 votes cast)
Posted in Pet Jokes | Tagged , , | Comments

Funny Parrot Walks Into A Bar Joke

A englishman with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar.

The bartender says, “Wow, that’s cool. Where did you get him?”

The parrot says, “In England. They’ve got tons of them over there.”

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Rating: 4.0/5 (8 votes cast)
Posted in Pet Jokes | Tagged | Comments

Frog And The Pretty Girl Joke, Fortune Teller Joke

A frog goes to a fortune teller to find out if he will ever be lucky in love.

The fortune teller reads his palm and tells the frog, “I have good news and I have bad news. Which would you like to hear first?”

The frog asks for the good news first.

The fortune teller says, “You are going to meet a pretty girl who is going to want to know all about you.”

“Great,” says the frog. “What’s the bad news?”

“The bad news is you’re going to meet her in biology class.” replies the fortune teller.

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Rating: 3.9/5 (24 votes cast)
Posted in Animal Jokes, Falling in Love Jokes | Tagged , | Comments

Swearing Parrot Joke, Pet Jokes

Dave bought himself a pet parrot from a pet store. The parrot was already fully grown and had a large vocabulary which included many swear words and dirty jokes.

Dave just do not know what to do it, he was not able to leave the parrot out when there was company because of his offensive vocabulary. He tried asking the parrot to stop swearing, he bought him language tapes, nothing worked.

One day completely fed up and frustrated Dave threw the parrot in the freezer. The parrot starts screeching and cursing as usual then there was complete silence. Concerned, Dave opened the freezer door and takes the parrot out.

The parrot apologizes to Dave for his language and promises to never again curse or tell dirty jokes. Dave was amazed by the change of behavior, but he didn’t want to say anything. The parrot starts talking again, “By the way, what did the chicken in the freezer do?”

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Rating: 4.5/5 (2 votes cast)
Posted in Animal Jokes | Comments

Funny Quote About Cats

Cats regard people as warm-blooded furniture. – Jacquelyn Mitchard

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Rating: 4.0/5 (4 votes cast)
Posted in Cat Jokes, Funny Quotes | Comments