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Category Archives: Jokes For The Animal Lover
There were ten cats on top of a car and one jumped off. How many were left?
None. They were all copy cats.
Q. Why can’t you trust the fastest animal in the world?
A. Because he’s a cheetah!
Tom spends a lot of money at his local pet store on a talking centipede which comes in a little box.
Excited to show off his new pet to his friends, Tom asks the centipede in the box if he’d like to go out to the bar for a drink.
There is no answer from his new friend and pet. Tom begins to wonder if his talking centipede can actually talk.
Impatiently, he puts his face up close to the box and shouts, “Hey you in there! Would you like to go out for a drink with me.”
A little voice comes from the box, “I heard you the first time! I’m putting on my shoes.”
Man to Vet: Doctor, I need you to cut the tail off my dog.
Vet: Why would you ask me to such a terrible thing?
Man to Vet: My mother in law is coming to visit tomorrow and I want her to know she’s not welcome. If she see’s the dog wagging it’s tail she may decide to stay longer.
How do you know when a Jewish puppy has finally matured into a dog?
He has a Bark Mitzvah!
A father walks into a pet store and asks the owner for a hamster for his son.
“Sorry” says the owner “We don’t do trades.”
Three race horses are taking in a stable.
One of them starts to boast, “In the last 20 races, I’ve won 13 of them!”
The second says, “Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 18!!”
“That’s pretty good” says the third one “but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 27!” and he flicks his tail.
Looking around, they notice that a greyhound dog has sat there quietly listening. “I don’t mean to boast,” says the greyhound, “but in my last 90 races, I’ve won 88 of them!”
The horses are amazed. “Wow!” says one, after a hushed silence. “A talking dog.”