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Category Archives: Jokes For The Dating
As they were walking through the city, a couple stopped into a cheap looking restaurant to relax. As they were about to have a seat, they noticed crumbs on their chair, so they took a napkin, brushed it off, and only then, had a seat.
When it was their turn to order, the woman told the waitress that she’d like a cup of coffee. “And what would you like, sir?” she questioned the man. “I’ll have a coffee too, just make sure the cup is clean.”
A few minutes later, the waitress came out with the two coffees. “Well, here you are!” she said. “I’m sorry, remind me which one of you wanted the clean cup?”
Poor Adam. He was the only man in history who wasn’t able to use the “Haven’t I met you before?” pickup line.
Eve thinks Adam may be cheating on her. He’s goes out at night and doesn’t come back till early in the morning.
Eve finally figures out how to tell if Adam is cheating on her. One night while Adam is sleeping she leans over and counts his ribs.
A teenager is a hopeless romantic who never falls in love more then twice a week.
A drunk goes over to a pretty lady at a bar and kisses her.
She stands up and slaps him across the face.
“I’m sorry,” he says “You look just like my wife. I though you were her.”
Furious, she yells at him, “Why you blasted no good drunk. How dare you touch me. You disgusting pervert!”
“Wow, you even sound like her.” replies the drunk.
An older guy is at a bar and he sees a beautiful girl alone at the other end of the bar. Knowing she is too young for him but relying on his tried and true trusty pick up line he goes up to her and says, “Where have you been all my life?”
“Well,” she says “For the first half of it I wasn’t even born.”
A frog goes to a fortune teller to find out if he will ever be lucky in love.
The fortune teller reads his palm and tells the frog, “I have good news and I have bad news. Which would you like to hear first?”
The frog asks for the good news first.
The fortune teller says, “You are going to meet a pretty girl who is going to want to know all about you.”
“Great,” says the frog. “What’s the bad news?”
“The bad news is you’re going to meet her in biology class.” replies the fortune teller.
Jack and Susan are on a blind date at a nice restaurant.
The date is going terrible and Jack just wants to leave, but he can’t because they are waiting for the main course to arrive.
Fortunately, Jack, an experienced dater has foreseen this happening and has arraigned with a friend to call him midway through the date to see how things are going.
His friend finally calls his cell phone, Jack answers, listens for a minute and says, “Oh No!”. He hangs up and tells Susan, “I have to go my grandmother just died.”
Susan, also an experience dater says, “Thank goodness, my grandmother was about to die!”
Mrs. And Mr. Smith were asleep one night when the phone starts ringing.
Mrs. Smith picks up the phone, listens for a few seconds, and says, “How the hell should I know, it’s 100 miles away.” and slams down the phone.
Mr Smith asks his wife, “Who was that?”
Mrs. Smith responds, “Some crazy lady. She wanted to know if the coast was clear.”
Tom is having trouble with his wife. He tells his psychiatrist about his troubles.
“Doctor, I don’t know what to. Every night my wife goes to a bar, gets drunk, and picks up the first guy who talks to her. She is sleeping with the entire city and it’s driving me crazy!”
The psychiatrist says to Tom, “Calm down, calm down, it’s going to be OK. Now tell me exactly where this bar is located.”