Category Archives: Husband Jokes

Your Father’s Side Of The Family Joke

A little girl asked her Mom, “Where do humans come from?”

Her Mom answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children and that’s who we all descend from.”

A few days later the girl asked her Dad the same question.

Her Dad answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys from which people evolved.”

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, “Mom, how is it possible that you told me the people were created by God, and Dad said people evolved from monkeys?”

Her Mom answered, “Well, dear, it’s very simple: I told you about my side of the family, and your father told you about his.”

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Rating: 4.6/5 (28 votes cast)
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Funny Cemetery Joke

Funny Conversation Overheard at The Cemetery

A crowd gathers at the Cemetery, as an elderly women’s burial service is finishing up.

As they lower the lady into her grave, there is a load outburst of thunder with flashes of lighting.

“Yep, she’s there” says the husband to the shaken priest.

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Rating: 3.6/5 (11 votes cast)
Posted in Death Jokes, Husband Jokes, Priest Jokes | Comments

Funny Long Marriage Joke

Funny Conversation Overheard

Old Man reminiscing in a nursing home:

“Yes, my wife and I, we had a long and loving marriage. Bless her soul, we had 40 happy years together. Out of 50, that’s not too bad!”

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Rating: 3.2/5 (6 votes cast)
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I’ve Lost My Wife Joke

Don goes up to a beautiful women in the mall and says, “I’ve lost my wife, would you do me a favor and talk to me for a few minutes.”

Puzzled, she asks him how talking to him would help him his wife again.

Don replies, “Well, whenever I talk to gorgeous woman my wife aways turns up out of nowhere.”

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Rating: 3.4/5 (7 votes cast)
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Happiest Day Of Your Life Joke

It’s the day before Sam is going to get married. The out of town guests have begun to arrive.

Jack, the uncle of the groom goes over to Sam and wishes him congratulations.

“One day you’ll look back at this day as the happiest day of your life.” says Sam.

“But, I’m getting married tomorrow.” Sam corrects him.

“I know!” answers Jack.

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Rating: 2.9/5 (36 votes cast)
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Say It With Flowers Joke, Valentine’s Day Joke

Mike was walking home from work on Valentine’s Day when he passed a florist shop with a sign in the window, “Say It With Flowers”. He walks in and ask for one red rose.

“Only one?” ask the florist.

“I’m a man of few words.” replies Mike.

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Rating: 3.5/5 (4 votes cast)
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Dumb Husband Joke

Q: How do you know that a married man is about to say something smart?

A: It always starts with “She said…”

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Rating: 3.3/5 (10 votes cast)
Posted in Husband Jokes, Insults | Tagged | Comments

Lazy Husband Joke

“The best to get husbands way to do something is to suggest that perhaps they too old are to do it.” —Shirley MacLaine

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Rating: 2.7/5 (6 votes cast)
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Birthday Present Joke

The man walked over to the florist counter and asked the florist for a dozen roses for his wife’s birthday.

“A little surprise, huh?” smiled the clerk.

“You bet,” answered the husband. “She’s expecting a cruise.”

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Rating: 3.4/5 (5 votes cast)
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Meaning Of Dreams Joke

One morning, a woman told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s Day.  What do you think it means?”

“You’ll know tonight,” he said.

That evening, the man came home with a package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it – to find a book entitled,
“The meaning of dreams”

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Rating: 4.3/5 (6 votes cast)
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