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Category Archives: Redneck Jokes
Not sure if you’re a Redneck? Take the ultimate Redneck test. One point for each yes. Three points or higher and you are indeed a redneck!
- You think “seven to eleven” pounds on the box of diapers means how much the diaper will hold.
- You name your kids after the car they were conceived in.
- You have a bumper stick which reads, “my kid whipped your honor students a$$”.
- Your 14 year old smokes in front of her kid.
- Any of your children are the result of a conjugal visit.
- You know your Daddy’s name is X because that’s what it says on your birth certificate.
- You spent a significant amount of your early childhood in the child care room at the bowling alley.
- Your child has asked you “Why don’t you marry Mommy?”
- You chose the opening day of deer season over attending your daughters wedding.
- Your kids nightlight is a neon bar sign.
Adapted from “The Redneck Doesn’t Fall Far From The Tree” by Jeff Foxworthy
Billy Ray and his buddies go hunting. They are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes roll back. Billy Ray pulls out his phone and calls the 911. He frantically shouts to the operator: “We were hunting, I’m not sure what happened but I think my friend is dead! What should I do?”
The operator, in a soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, and then a shot is heard.
Billy Ray comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what? “