Category Archives: Church Jokes

Jack is very depressed. His business has lost a lot of value in the recession and the stock market has taken another turn for the worse. Jack’s wife urges him to go and talk to the family priest. Jack reluctantly agrees to make an appointment. Jack sits down and unburdens himself the spiritual adviser. The priest thinks for a long time, but finally he finds a solution. “Jack, this is what you need to do. Take your Bible and go somewhere peaceful where you can communicate with the Lord. Sit down and meditate and try to accept the Lord in to your heart. When you have reached inner peace I want you to slowly open your Bible and let the wind ruffle the pages. When the wind stops, look down at the page which the Bible is opened to. There you will find your answer.” Jack is a bit skeptical, but the priest is serious and Jack decides he doesn’t have anything better to do. The priest doesn’t see Jack again for a few months. One day, Jack shows up at the church in a fancy car and expensive suit and hands the priest an envelope with a large donation to the church. “Father, I want to thank you for your excellent advice! I followed your instructions to the letter. When the wind finally stopped blowing it took me awhile to find any message, but then I looked at the bottom of the page. Chapter 11!