Category Archives: Jokes For The Religious

Haven’t I Met You Before?, Pick Up Line Jokes

Adam And Eve Funny Pick Up linesPoor Adam. He was the only man in history who wasn’t able to use the “Haven’t I met you before?” pickup line.

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Rating: 4.1/5 (14 votes cast)
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Caught Cheating On Her Joke

Adam And Eve In Garden, cheating joke

Eve thinks Adam may be cheating on her. He’s goes out at night and doesn’t come back till early in the morning.

Eve finally figures out how to tell if Adam is cheating on her. One night while Adam is sleeping she leans over and counts his ribs.

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Rating: 3.5/5 (13 votes cast)
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Funny Quote About Prayer And Schizophrenia

Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying, but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic? ~ Lily Tomlin

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Rating: 3.1/5 (10 votes cast)
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Funny Answer To Priest About Mother’s Bedtime Prayer

A priest is talking to a little boy at the end of the days service.

“So your Mom says prayers with you before you go to sleep, what prayer does she say?

The boy responds, “Well, usually she just says, Thank God he’s in bed.”

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Rating: 3.8/5 (13 votes cast)
Posted in Children Jokes, Mom Jokes, Prayer Jokes, Priest Jokes | Tagged , , , | Comments

Funny Cemetery Joke

Funny Conversation Overheard at The Cemetery

A crowd gathers at the Cemetery, as an elderly women’s burial service is finishing up.

As they lower the lady into her grave, there is a load outburst of thunder with flashes of lighting.

“Yep, she’s there” says the husband to the shaken priest.

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Rating: 3.6/5 (11 votes cast)
Posted in Death Jokes, Husband Jokes, Priest Jokes | Comments

Lawyer, Rabbi and Hindu Joke

A lawyer, rabbi and Hindu are travelling together through the country. They stop at a farmhouse and ask to spend the night. The farmer says, “I have space for two of you in the house, one of you will have to sleep in the barn.”

The Hindu offers to sleep in the barn. After a few minutes the Hindu comes back and says, “There is a cow in the barn. Cows are sacred in my religion. I can’t sleep together with a cow.

The rabbi offers to sleep in the barn. After a few minutes the rabbi comes back and says, “There is a pig in the barn. Pigs are unclean in my religion. I can’t sleep together with a pig.

So, the lawyer goes to sleep in the barn. After a few minutes the pig and the cow knock on the door….

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Rating: 3.9/5 (13 votes cast)
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Rabbi And Priest Wedding Joke

The rabbi and priest meet at a wedding. The priest is holding a plate of delicious looking ham.

The priest teases the rabbi, “You should try some of this ham. It is delicious. I know it’s against you’re religion but you have no idea what you’re missing.”

The rabbi says back, “I’ll eat it. At your wedding.”

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Funny Conversation God and Man

Man: What’s a million years to you?

God: A minute.

Man: Well, what’s a million dollars to you?

God: A penny.

Man: Can I have a penny?

God: Sure, in a minute.

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Rating: 4.2/5 (44 votes cast)
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Near Death Experience Joke

Sandy, an older women in her fifties, has a near death experience on the operating table. She sees God who tells her not to worry she has at least another thirty years to live.

Sandy decides she’s anyway in the hospital and she had another thirty years to live, she should make the most of it. She has plastic surgery on her face, Botox and breast augmentation.

A few week later she’s crossing the street and gets hit by a car and is killed. She comes up to heaven and sees God.

“I don’t understand,” she says to God “You said I had another thirty years?”

God answers her, “I didn’t recognize you.”

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Rating: 4.2/5 (5 votes cast)
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Ten Commandments Joke

Moses had been up on the mountain for a long time. The People of Israel were getting nervous. Where was he? The tension continued to build until finally a man is seen making his way down the mountain carrying something.

The people gathered at the foot of the mountain. Moses reaches the bottom and faces the crowd.

“My people, I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is I have negotiated with the Lord and brought him down from twenty to ten. The bad news is adultery is still in.”

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Rating: 4.0/5 (11 votes cast)
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