Category Archives: Funny Quotes

Funny Quote About Prayer And Schizophrenia

Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying, but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic? ~ Lily Tomlin

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate this Joke:
Rating: 3.1/5 (10 votes cast)
Posted in Funny Quotes, God Jokes, Mental Illness Jokes, Prayer Jokes | Comments

Funny Quote About Work

Work is a slice of your life. It’s not the entire pizza. – Jacquelyn Mitchard

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate this Joke:
Rating: 4.3/5 (6 votes cast)
Posted in Funny Quotes | Comments

Funny Quote About Cats

Cats regard people as warm-blooded furniture. – Jacquelyn Mitchard

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate this Joke:
Rating: 4.0/5 (4 votes cast)
Posted in Cat Jokes, Funny Quotes | Comments

Funny Friendship Quote About Advice

“Friendship will not stand the strain of very much good advice for very long” – Robert Lynd

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate this Joke:
Rating: 3.3/5 (6 votes cast)
Posted in Funny Quotes | Comments

Funny Quote About Marriage Life

“The formula for a happy marriage? It’s the same as the one for living in California: when you find a fault, don’t dwell on it.” – Jay Trachman

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate this Joke:
Rating: 4.0/5 (4 votes cast)
Posted in Funny Quotes, Marriage Jokes | Comments

Music Gone Bad Joke

When you are about 45 something terrible always happens to music.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate this Joke:
Rating: 4.2/5 (9 votes cast)
Posted in Funny Lines, Funny Quotes, Music Jokes, Old People Jokes | Comments

Breaking Up Joke

“Breaking up is like trying to tip over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push. You have to rock it back and forth a couple of times.” —Jerry Seinfeld

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate this Joke:
Rating: 4.2/5 (5 votes cast)
Posted in Breaking Up Jokes, Funny Quotes | Comments

Lazy Husband Joke

“The best to get husbands way to do something is to suggest that perhaps they too old are to do it.” —Shirley MacLaine

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate this Joke:
Rating: 2.7/5 (6 votes cast)
Posted in Funny Quotes, Husband Jokes | Comments

Funny Marriage Quote

You never realize how the human voice can change until a woman stops yelling at her husband and answers the phone
~ Neal O’Hara

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate this Joke:
Rating: 5.0/5 (2 votes cast)
Posted in Funny Quotes, Marriage Jokes | Comments

Forgetful Grandfather Joke

My grandfather’s a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there.
– Ron Richards

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate this Joke:
Rating: 4.3/5 (11 votes cast)
Posted in Funny Quotes, Granddaughter Jokes | Comments