Category Archives: Jokes
Dad: Don’t you think our son gets his brains from me?
Mom: Probably, dear. I still have all of mine.
“Breaking up is like trying to tip over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push. You have to rock it back and forth a couple of times.” —Jerry Seinfeld
“The best to get husbands way to do something is to suggest that perhaps they too old are to do it.” —Shirley MacLaine
You never realize how the human voice can change until a woman stops yelling at her husband and answers the phone
~ Neal O’Hara
My grandfather’s a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there.
- Ron Richards
I took my parents back to the airport today. They leave tomorrow. – Margaret Smith
Last night the local Peeping Tom knocked on my mother-in-laws’ door, and asked her to shut her blinds.
- What’s black and white and red all over.
- What happens to a grape when an elephant steps on it?
It lets out a little whine.
- What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.
- What’s black, white, black, white, black, white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
- There are 3 types of people.
Those who can count and those who can’t.
- How many sound check guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. Two. One, Two. One.
- Why did the math book look so sad?
Cause he had a lot of problems
- Why was the little strawberry crying?
Because his parents were in a jam.
- It’s not hard to meet expenses.
- What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a hamburger?
You know marriage is making a big comeback. I know personally that in Hollywood people are marrying people they never married before. – Bob Hope
I’m not afraid of death. I just don’t want to be there when it happens. ~ Woody Allen