Category Archives: Top 10 Jokes

Top 10 Corny Jokes List

  • What’s black and white and red all over.
    A newspaper.
  • What happens to a grape when an elephant steps on it?
    It lets out a little whine.
  • What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
    A Nervous Wreck.
  • What’s black, white, black, white, black, white?
    A penguin rolling down a hill.
  • There are 3 types of people.
    Those who can count and those who can’t.
  • How many sound check guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    One. Two. One, Two. One.
  • Why did the math book look so sad?
    Cause he had a lot of problems
  • Why was the little strawberry crying?
    Because his parents were in a jam.
  • It’s not hard to meet expenses.
    They’re everywhere.
  • What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a hamburger?
    Fast Food!
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List Of Differences Between Love And Marriage Joke

Top 10 differences between love and marriage

  1. Love is cuddling on the couch. Marriage is deciding which couch.
  2. Love is a flickering flame. Marriage is a flickering TV.
  3. Love is holding hands in the street. Marriage is holding arguments in the street.
  4. Love is talking about having kids. Marriage is talking of getting a break from the kids.
  5. Love is sweet nothing in the ear. Marriage is nothing in the bank.
  6. Love is when you phone each other just to say Hi. Marriage is when you phone each other to find out when to pick up the kids.
  7. Love is like one long sweet dream. Marriage is like an alarm clock.
  8. Love is when you say you would go through hell for her. Marriage is hell.
  9. Love is when you decide to become one. Marriage is when you try to decide which one.
  10. Love is when he yearns for her. Marriage is when he earns for her.
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Top 10 List Of Funny Excuses For Missing Work

  1. I couldn’t find a cute pair of shoes to wear.
  2. While driving to work I missed the turn, I decided to keep going.
  3. An invisible car came out of nowhere, slammed into my car and vanished.
  4. I won’t be in today.. uhm….I’ll call back later with my excuse.
  5. I’m having a bad hair day and I have to go home to wash it.
  6. My wife said she is going to conceive today, and I think I should be there.
  7. The dog ate my car keys. We’re going to walk to the veterinarian.
  8. I locked myself in the bathroom.
  9. My cat hid my car key, she gets lonely when I’m not here.
  10. I left the bedroom window open last night and in the morning it was too cold to get out of bed.
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Top Ten Signs You May Be A Redneck, Redneck Jokes

Not sure if you’re a Redneck? Take the ultimate Redneck test. One point for each yes. Three points or higher and you are indeed a redneck!

  1. You think “seven to eleven” pounds on the box of diapers means how much the diaper will hold.
  2. You name your kids after the car they were conceived in.
  3. You have a bumper stick which reads, “my kid whipped your honor students a$$”.
  4. Your 14 year old smokes in front of her kid.
  5. Any of your children are the result of a conjugal visit.
  6. You know your Daddy’s name is X because that’s what it says on your birth certificate.
  7. You spent a significant amount of your early childhood in the child care room at the bowling alley.
  8. Your child has asked you “Why don’t you marry Mommy?”
  9. You chose the opening day of deer season over attending your daughters wedding.
  10. Your kids nightlight is a neon bar sign.

Adapted from “The Redneck Doesn’t Fall Far From The Tree” by Jeff Foxworthy

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Top 10 One Line Aging Jokes

  1. You know you’re old when you take a nap to get ready for bed.
  2. You know you’re old when your head makes dates your body can’t keep.
  3. You know you’re old when you use valet parking to avoid losing your car.
  4. You know you’re old if your walker has an airbag.
  5. The problem with getting old is that there’s just no future in it.
  6. A nice thing about aging and losing your memory is you meet new friends every day.
  7. A nice thing about aging is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
  8. A nice thing about aging is there’s no such thing as a joke you’ve already heard.
  9. A nice thing about aging is it’s already a great day when you wake up and nothing hurts.
  10. A nice thing about aging is when you lose your glasses they’re usually close by, like on your forehead.
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