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Category Archives: Dating Jokes
An older guy is at a bar and he sees a beautiful girl alone at the other end of the bar. Knowing she is too young for him but relying on his tried and true trusty pick up line he goes up to her and says, “Where have you been all my life?”
“Well,” she says “For the first half of it I wasn’t even born.”
Jack and Susan are on a blind date at a nice restaurant.
The date is going terrible and Jack just wants to leave, but he can’t because they are waiting for the main course to arrive.
Fortunately, Jack, an experienced dater has foreseen this happening and has arraigned with a friend to call him midway through the date to see how things are going.
His friend finally calls his cell phone, Jack answers, listens for a minute and says, “Oh No!”. He hangs up and tells Susan, “I have to go my grandmother just died.”
Susan, also an experience dater says, “Thank goodness, my grandmother was about to die!”
Top 10 differences between love and marriage
- Love is cuddling on the couch. Marriage is deciding which couch.
- Love is a flickering flame. Marriage is a flickering TV.
- Love is holding hands in the street. Marriage is holding arguments in the street.
- Love is talking about having kids. Marriage is talking of getting a break from the kids.
- Love is sweet nothing in the ear. Marriage is nothing in the bank.
- Love is when you phone each other just to say Hi. Marriage is when you phone each other to find out when to pick up the kids.
- Love is like one long sweet dream. Marriage is like an alarm clock.
- Love is when you say you would go through hell for her. Marriage is hell.
- Love is when you decide to become one. Marriage is when you try to decide which one.
- Love is when he yearns for her. Marriage is when he earns for her.