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Category Archives: Marriage Jokes
Why are married women fatter then single women?
Single women look in the fridge, see what’s there and go to bed.
Married women look in the bed see what’s there and go to the fridge.
Funny Conversation Overheard
Old Man reminiscing in a nursing home:
“Yes, my wife and I, we had a long and loving marriage. Bless her soul, we had 40 happy years together. Out of 50, that’s not too bad!”
“The formula for a happy marriage? It’s the same as the one for living in California: when you find a fault, don’t dwell on it.” – Jay Trachman
Top 10 differences between love and marriage
- Love is cuddling on the couch. Marriage is deciding which couch.
- Love is a flickering flame. Marriage is a flickering TV.
- Love is holding hands in the street. Marriage is holding arguments in the street.
- Love is talking about having kids. Marriage is talking of getting a break from the kids.
- Love is sweet nothing in the ear. Marriage is nothing in the bank.
- Love is when you phone each other just to say Hi. Marriage is when you phone each other to find out when to pick up the kids.
- Love is like one long sweet dream. Marriage is like an alarm clock.
- Love is when you say you would go through hell for her. Marriage is hell.
- Love is when you decide to become one. Marriage is when you try to decide which one.
- Love is when he yearns for her. Marriage is when he earns for her.
Doctor: You’re going to have to stop taking your troubles to sleep with you if you want to cure your insomnia.
Patient: I know but what can I do my wife refuses to sleep alone.
Husband: Dear, I wish you could make pies like my mother used to make.
Wife: I wish you could make dough like my father used to make.
The secret to a happy marriage is dinner out at least twice a week, and then a long relaxing walk home. My wife eats out on Tuesdays, and I eat out on Fridays.
Marriage is like a middle of the night phone call. You get a ring and then you wake up.
How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One man to change the bulb and four wives to tell him how to do it.