Category Archives: Nature Jokes
Dave bought himself a pet parrot from a pet store. The parrot was already fully grown and had a large vocabulary which included many swear words and dirty jokes.
Dave just do not know what to do it, he was not able to leave the parrot out when there was company because of his offensive vocabulary. He tried asking the parrot to stop swearing, he bought him language tapes, nothing worked.
One day completely fed up and frustrated Dave threw the parrot in the freezer. The parrot starts screeching and cursing as usual then there was complete silence. Concerned, Dave opened the freezer door and takes the parrot out.
The parrot apologizes to Dave for his language and promises to never again curse or tell dirty jokes. Dave was amazed by the change of behavior, but he didn’t want to say anything. The parrot starts talking again, “By the way, what did the chicken in the freezer do?”
There were ten cats on top of a car and one jumped off. How many were left?
None. They were all copy cats.
Q. Why can’t you trust the fastest animal in the world?
A. Because he’s a cheetah!
Tom spends a lot of money at his local pet store on a talking centipede which comes in a little box.
Excited to show off his new pet to his friends, Tom asks the centipede in the box if he’d like to go out to the bar for a drink.
There is no answer from his new friend and pet. Tom begins to wonder if his talking centipede can actually talk.
Impatiently, he puts his face up close to the box and shouts, “Hey you in there! Would you like to go out for a drink with me.”
A little voice comes from the box, “I heard you the first time! I’m putting on my shoes.”
Man to Vet: Doctor, I need you to cut the tail off my dog.
Vet: Why would you ask me to such a terrible thing?
Man to Vet: My mother in law is coming to visit tomorrow and I want her to know she’s not welcome. If she see’s the dog wagging it’s tail she may decide to stay longer.
How do you know when a Jewish puppy has finally matured into a dog?
He has a Bark Mitzvah!