Category Archives: Pet Jokes
A magician is hired for a gig on a cruise ship. Everytime he tries a magic trick the captain’s parrot ruins the trick by telling the crowd how he is doing it. There is nothing he can do because the parrot belongs to the captain.
A few days later the ship sinks. The magician is floating on a piece of wood alone expect for the parrot. They float for days without talking, no food or water, eyeing each other coldly. Finally the parrot gives in, “OK, I give up. How did you make the ship disappear?”
A englishman with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “Wow, that’s cool. Where did you get him?”
The parrot says, “In England. They’ve got tons of them over there.”
Tom spends a lot of money at his local pet store on a talking centipede which comes in a little box.
Excited to show off his new pet to his friends, Tom asks the centipede in the box if he’d like to go out to the bar for a drink.
There is no answer from his new friend and pet. Tom begins to wonder if his talking centipede can actually talk.
Impatiently, he puts his face up close to the box and shouts, “Hey you in there! Would you like to go out for a drink with me.”
A little voice comes from the box, “I heard you the first time! I’m putting on my shoes.”