Category Archives: People Jokes

Psychiatrist Can’t Keep Secrets Joke

Three psychiatrist are talking about how everyone comes to them with their problems but they have no one to go to with their problems. They agree to share their problems with each other.

The first psychiatrist says, “I’m addicted to Barbiturates. I write myself prescriptions all the time.”

The second psychiatrist says, “I’m a compulsive gambler. I overcharge my patients to pay for my gambling addiction.”

The third psychiatrist says, “I can’t keep a secret. My patients tell me their secrets in confidence and I divulge it to everyone.”

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Mental Patient Joke

The psychiatrist moves close to the young man in the hospital room. He is staring straight ahead oblivious to his surroundings. Suddenly he starts yelling, “I can’t see! I can’t see!”

Taken aback, the psychiatrist turns to the boy’s mother who is sitting nearby, “Has long has this been going on?”

“Ever since you stepped in front of the TV.” is the lackadaisical response.

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Funny Long Marriage Joke

Funny Conversation Overheard

Old Man reminiscing in a nursing home:

“Yes, my wife and I, we had a long and loving marriage. Bless her soul, we had 40 happy years together. Out of 50, that’s not too bad!”

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Funny Things Tourists Do

Two women tourist are in Europe exploring the shops. They walk into each shop having fun trying on the stylish clothes. In one shop they are trying on some beautiful coats when they notice that they are attracting lots of strange glances. Finally a man comes over to them and says, “You know this is a dry cleaners?”

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Funny Joke About Men Cleaning

Q. What has six eyes but can’t see?

A. There men alone in a house with a dirty kitchen, kids who need a bath and a bathroom which need to be cleaned.

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Lawyer, Rabbi and Hindu Joke

A lawyer, rabbi and Hindu are travelling together through the country. They stop at a farmhouse and ask to spend the night. The farmer says, “I have space for two of you in the house, one of you will have to sleep in the barn.”

The Hindu offers to sleep in the barn. After a few minutes the Hindu comes back and says, “There is a cow in the barn. Cows are sacred in my religion. I can’t sleep together with a cow.

The rabbi offers to sleep in the barn. After a few minutes the rabbi comes back and says, “There is a pig in the barn. Pigs are unclean in my religion. I can’t sleep together with a pig.

So, the lawyer goes to sleep in the barn. After a few minutes the pig and the cow knock on the door….

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Rabbi And Priest Wedding Joke

The rabbi and priest meet at a wedding. The priest is holding a plate of delicious looking ham.

The priest teases the rabbi, “You should try some of this ham. It is delicious. I know it’s against you’re religion but you have no idea what you’re missing.”

The rabbi says back, “I’ll eat it. At your wedding.”

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Ring The Doorbell And Run, Funny Jokes about Kids

A man is walking down the street. He sees a small child trying to ring a doorbell. The doorbell is too high for him to reach.  He asks the boy if he would like some help.

The boy says yes.

The man walks over and rings the doorbell.  He asks the boy,

“Is there anything else I can do for you?”

The boy responses, “Yes, run like hell!”

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Good News Doctor Joke

Doctor to Patient:
I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re not a hypochondriac.

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Cost Of A Lawyer Joke

Tom needs some legal advice and so he walks into a lawyers office. As they sit down Tom remembers to ask the lawyer about the cost.

“How much do you charge for advice?” Tom asks.

“One hundred and fifty dollars for three questions.” responds the lawyer.

Shocked, Tom asks, “Isn’t that expensive?”

“Yes,” replies the lawyer, “What is your third question?”

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