Category Archives: Bible Jokes

Haven’t I Met You Before?, Pick Up Line Jokes

Adam And Eve Funny Pick Up linesPoor Adam. He was the only man in history who wasn’t able to use the “Haven’t I met you before?” pickup line.

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Caught Cheating On Her Joke

Adam And Eve In Garden, cheating joke

Eve thinks Adam may be cheating on her. He’s goes out at night and doesn’t come back till early in the morning.

Eve finally figures out how to tell if Adam is cheating on her. One night while Adam is sleeping she leans over and counts his ribs.

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Ten Commandments Joke

Moses had been up on the mountain for a long time. The People of Israel were getting nervous. Where was he? The tension continued to build until finally a man is seen making his way down the mountain carrying something.

The people gathered at the foot of the mountain. Moses reaches the bottom and faces the crowd.

“My people, I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is I have negotiated with the Lord and brought him down from twenty to ten. The bad news is adultery is still in.”

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Adam And Eve Rib Joke

God created Adam and he was alone without a companion.

God saw that it was not good for man to be alone and he said to Adam, “I will make you a helpmate. She will be beautiful, she will take care of you and she will make you happy.”

Adam was overcome with gratitude. “God,” he says, “that sounds amazing. How can I thank you?”

God replied, “Well it doesn’t come for free. It will cost you an arm and a leg.”

“That’s pretty steep.” Adam replied. “What can I get for a rib?”

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God Jokes About Women

Q. What did God say after he created Man?

A. I can do better than this.

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Do You Love Me Joke

It’s in the Garden Of Eden and Eve is feeling a bit of relationship angst about her marriage with Adam.

She asks Adam “Do you love me?”

Adam replies, “Of course dear.” and them mutters to himself “Do I have a choice?”

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Funny Bankruptcy Bible Joke

Jack is very depressed. His business has lost a lot of value in the recession and the stock market has taken another turn for the worse. Jack’s wife urges him to go and talk to the family priest. Jack reluctantly agrees to make an appointment. Jack sits down and unburdens himself the spiritual adviser. The priest thinks for a long time, but finally he finds a solution. “Jack, this is what you need to do. Take your Bible and go somewhere peaceful where you can communicate with the Lord. Sit down and meditate and try to accept the Lord in to your heart. When you have reached inner peace I want you to slowly open your Bible and let the wind ruffle the pages. When the wind stops, look down at the page which the Bible is opened to. There you will find your answer.” Jack is a bit skeptical, but the priest is serious and Jack decides he doesn’t have anything better to do. The priest doesn’t see Jack again for a few months. One day, Jack shows up at the church in a fancy car and expensive suit and hands the priest an envelope with a large donation to the church. “Father, I want to thank you for your excellent advice! I followed your instructions to the letter. When the wind finally stopped blowing it took me awhile to find any message, but then I looked at the bottom of the page. Chapter 11!

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