A little girl asked her Mom, “Where do humans come from?”
Her Mom answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children and that’s who we all descend from.”
A few days later the girl asked her Dad the same question.
Her Dad answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys from which people evolved.”
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, “Mom, how is it possible that you told me the people were created by God, and Dad said people evolved from monkeys?”
Her Mom answered, “Well, dear, it’s very simple: I told you about my side of the family, and your father told you about his.”
As they were walking through the city, a couple stopped into a cheap looking restaurant to relax. As they were about to have a seat, they noticed crumbs on their chair, so they took a napkin, brushed it off, and only then, had a seat.
When it was their turn to order, the woman told the waitress that she’d like a cup of coffee. “And what would you like, sir?” she questioned the man. “I’ll have a coffee too, just make sure the cup is clean.”
A few minutes later, the waitress came out with the two coffees. “Well, here you are!” she said. “I’m sorry, remind me which one of you wanted the clean cup?”
When Tom and Charles were on their daily walk, the passed a restaurant and decided to get something to eat.
“Tom!” exclaimed Charles. “We can’t go in, Can’t you see the sign ‘NO PETS ALLOWED’.” Oh, I see it,” replied Tom. “That don’t matter.”
He pulls his sunglasses and walks up to the door, but before he could take another step, the doorman stopped him and said, “I’m sorry sir, no pets allowed in this restaurant.” “Look Mr.,” Tom replied “I’m blind, this is my seeing-eye dog!” “Since when is a German Shepard a seeing-eye dog?” he responded. “It’s the latest kind of seeing-eye dog, how could you not know?!” Tom shouted.
Seeing Toms success, Charles tried walking in with his Poodle. Before he even said a word, the doorman stopped him, “don’t tell me that a Poodle is the latest type of seeing-eye dog!” Thinking as fast as he could, Charles quickly answered back in an upset voice.
“You mean to tell me that they gave me a Poodle?”
Being a first grade teacher can be very amusing. It’s especially entertaining to hear how they describe what’s going on in the family. For instance, when Harry told be that his mom was having a baby, he was glowing! He was so excited that he reminded me about it every day. Suddenly, one day, he didn’t mention a word about it. Out of my concern I questioned him why. “Well”, he replied, “last night my mom told me that I can feel the baby moving in her stomach, I’m afraid she must have eaten it!”
Q. How do you convert a purse into a sleeping bag?
A. Put it to sleep.
Q. Why are fish so bad at basketball?
A. There’s something about getting close to the net that freaks them out.
Q. What did the mother bird say to little bird when he didn’t talk nicely?
A. Stop using fowl language.
Q. Why don’t Dalmatians like to take baths?
A. They don’t want to be spotless.
Joanna come out and play?